Praise Him in The Storm

When you are unhappy and you know it, you may not be able to clap your hands. Your heart many be heavy and sad but even in the midst of the pain we can praise Jesus anyway, because He knows the end of the story and He wins. God is the one who gives and takes away. He is the One who holds our tears, every single one. No pain is wasted. Look to Christ. He will get your through. Even in your tears and your sorrow. Praise Him in the Storm. He really is the only One who can carry your through the darkest hours.

One of my favorite scriptures is,

“Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior.” Habakkuk 3:17-18

In 2001 on Thanksgiving day, a month before his 12^th birthday, our son Micah fell out of a tree and broke his femur, tore his spleen, punctured his lung and crushed a vertebrae. He was in intensive care fighting for his life. We eventually found out he had leukemia and we started what ended up being a 4 year journey through cancer and growing in Jesus.

I clung to this verse,

Lamentations 3:21-25 (ESV)

21But this I call to mind,
and therefore I have hope:

22The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
23they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
24“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
“therefore I will hope in him.”

25 The Lord is good to those who wait for him,
to the soul who seeks him.

Casting Crowns wrote a song called, Praise You in this Storm. I love it and cry every time I hear it. Fernando Ortega sings a song called, I will Praise Him Still. I use to listen to it over and over while we went through this trial with Micah. It is still one of my favorite songs. They both remind me that in the midst of storms and trials in our lives, God is still God. He is on the throne even in the storms of life and He carries us by His mighty grace. I used to know what the word grace meant, but after this trial with Micah I now know what God’s grace is. I can not live with out it. His grace is sufficient for me.

Let’s be real, sometimes we are not happy, and we know it. We may be going through a dark time and we don’t know why. As Christians we sometimes try to stuff those feelings and act as if they are not there because we think we are suppose to smile all the time. But I think we need to face our fears, our sorrows, our pain, knowing God is on our side. This time of year is especially hard for me. Sometimes, there seems to be a cloud over me and I can’t shake the blues. I don’t feel like dancing, singing and clapping my hands, but I know that in His presence is fullness of joy.

Fall is my favorite time of year. I love October, the cooler weather, blue sky, yellow, orange and red leaves, blowing in the wind. But my fall came falling down on October 22 or 23, 2005 when we found out the chemo wasn’t working for Micah. He had 2 ½ years of chemo treatment and relapsed. Then Micah had a bone marrow transplant with our daughter Priscilla’s bone marrow. Then after making it through and thinking it was successful, he relapsed again. Then, they tried to get him in remission for a second transplant with Lydia’s cord blood but were unsuccessful. So after 4 years of fighting leukemia, praying and hoping that he would be healed, hope was deferred again and our hearts were sick again.

This battle of leukemia was being lost.

But all was not lost! Micah knew and we knew that God wins in the end. He will be victorious. God always wins and we are on His team! When the doctor told us the prognosis, that Micah had 2 weeks to 2 months to live, Micah looked at me with a sweet loving and caring look, put his arm around me, comforting me, and told me it was going to be OK! I should have been comforting him but he was comforting me! God is so good! That night Micah sat on the bed with Mark and I and he told us he was fine, that God was good and either God would do a miracle and heal him or he will go to be with Jesus. Micah quoted Paul, “To live is Christ. To die is gain. “So either way, he wins.

So, we lived the next two months. Micah worked in Boone at the Samaritan Purse, Operation Christmas Child. Micah went on the men’s retreat at church. A dear friend’s parents offered their beach home for us to have a family vacation over Thanksgiving. We came back and the youth at church came over for a time of praise and worship, prayer and thanksgiving. We prayed together as a church crying out to God for healing. But in the end, almost two months later, after being in the hospital for 10 days, on morning of December 17, 2005, Micah breathed his last breath here on earth and the next breath in the arms of Jesus. It was 5 days before his 16^th birthday. Our daughter Lydia shared the birthday with Micah and she turned one. We had Micah’s celebration of life on his birthday. Many people came and blessed us with their presence and with the many stories of how God blessed them through Micah’s life.

I have many memories of Micah sitting on the windowsill at the hospital looking out the window for me. He often could see me in the parking lot and I would wave up at him. He spent many hours and days and months in the hospital. Some days he was too sick to do much but sleep, especially at the end. But many days, if he felt up to it he would worship the Lord on his guitar or mandolin. We had friends from church and from a far come to see him and worship with him and pray with him. People in the hospital often said it sounded like angels singing in Micah’s room. People would visit him in the hospital or at home and feel the presence of the Lord in that place. When he was at home and heard bad news he would often go off somewhere, sometimes out in the woods with his guitar and composition notebook and colorful pens and write songs. His worship ministered to my heart so much. It is one of the things I miss so much about him.

So now, we live here on earth without our sweet Micah, but we also know Micah won. He gained Christ. He is worshiping and clapping his hands before the throne of God, joyously singing praises to God. Micah got to heaven first. He is waiting for us.

Between Thanksgiving, Christmas, birthday celebrations, the new year, there is a lot of family gatherings this time of year and it can be hard. Maybe you have an empty seat at your table and another tear in your eye, because of a loved one who no longer lives here on earth to grace your table. Maybe there is broken relationships or your children have grown up and moved away like many of ours. Maybe there is an emptiness in your heart for the children you never had or never knew. But if you turn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full in His wonderful face. The things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace. Today, it has been 14 years since we said goodbye to Micah. And yes, my heart still hurts and aches for him. But, I will choose to look to Jesus Christ and praise Him in the storm, because God is still God. He is victorious and we are on the winning side so we can rejoice!

"Praise You In This Storm", by Casting Crowns

I was sure by now
God, you would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen," and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

And I'll praise you in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For you are who you are
No matter where I am

And every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise you in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you
And raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find you

But as the thunder rolls
I barely hear your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

And I'll praise you in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For you are who you are
No matter where I am

And every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise you in this storm

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The maker of Heaven and Earth

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The maker of Heaven and Earth

And I'll praise you in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For you are who you are
No matter where I am

And every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise you in this storm
Though my heart is torn
(Though my heart is torn)
I will praise you in this storm
(Praise you in this storm)