Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Micah and Lydia

Micah and Lydia

25 years ago yesterday on Dec. 22, 1989 our son Micah was born. 15 years later before Micah turned 15 we waited for another baby to be born before Micah could have his bone marrow transplant. I asked Micah how he would like to have a baby brother or sister for his birthday and he said he would like that. Well the Lord gave him a sister, Lydia Faith Leake, born on Micah's birthday 10 years ago yesterday. What a gift she has been. I had given Micah the nickname of My Sunshine so it seemed fitting to call Lydia my sunshine as well. She was a blessing to Micah and many others in the hospital that first year of her life while Micah was having a bone marrow transplant and then when he relapsed and went in for more chemo she was always with us. Micah was with Lydia so much he seemed to be very intuitive and knew what she wanted by her cry. He was also very protective of her and e. He wanted to make sure I didn't strain myself so he would push her in the stroller and he would put her in the car seat and fold up the stroller and put it n the trunk. If she was crying in her bed he would get up out of his hospital bed and pick her up and comfort her. Once I left them both asleep in the hospital room and went to do laundry. When I came back Micah was holding her in the bed and comforting her even though he was sick to his stomach because of the chemo. Lydia brought a smile to Micah's face. He loved holding her and playing with her and putting a smile on her face. Later when Lydia was about 9 months old Micah started giving Lydia Fritos. She would get all excited when she saw him get out the Frito bag and couldn't get to him fast enough. He would be in the hospital bed and she would crawl over to him and take the Frito and then suck the salt off of it. Micah used to say that Lydia brought joy and happiness where ever she went. 9 years ago, 5 days before Micah's 16th birthday and Lydia's first birthday Micah went home to be with the Lord. Lydia missed him. She would point to his picture and say miss Mi mi (her name for Micah). Lydia and Micah shared a special bond. Mostly Lydia's memories are those she remembers from stories we told her and from pictures but in many ways she shares more than just his birthday in common with Micah. God had blessed Micah with a special walk with the Lord that really grew and strengthened as he suffered with leukemia. Yet through all of it he laughed and joked and didn't complain. He would even play tricks on the doctors and nurses to give them a laugh too. Micah was a good example to us all. When Micah found out that there was nothing more the doctors could do to help him his confession to Mark and I was “Either God does a miracle and heals me,or I die and go to be with the Lord. Either way I win. To live is Christ ,to die is gain.” Shortly before Micah died, our pastor came to visit and asked Micah if after all he had been through does he still say God is good? Micah lifted his head and looked at him with tears in his eyes and replied with a weak sick body, that yes , even more than ever he knows that God is so good to him. I am thankful for the almost 16 years God gave us with Micah and for his testimony. I am so thankful Micah trusted Christ as his Lord and savior and continued to look to Him till the very end. I am sure if he were alive today he would still say that Lydia still brings joy and happiness where ever she goes. She too has put her trust in Jesus and shines with the light of the Son. She is like a little butterfly that spreads joy and happiness where ever she goes. I am thankful for the My prayer for Lydia is that she would love Jesus more and more and give her life fully to Him and say at the end of her life, as many years as the Lord gives her, For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.”
Happy birthday Micah! I know you are rejoicing in the Lord! Happy Birthday Lydia. May you always love and trust Jesus! I love you.


Wednesday, December 17, 2014

My Firstborn- written 11/29/2014-12/17/2014

How can you explain the love that flows through you when you hold your firstborn baby? Joy and love bursts in your heart when your baby is born and placed in your arms, erasing the pain you felt at child birth. A mixture of pain and joy. Your heart is full and your eyes are fixed upon the sweet baby. What a grand responsibility to train and teach this child diligently and to lead this little one to Christ. The joy of the first smile, first time he says mama, first steps. The pain of the first inconsolable cries, the first of many falls, the first stitches. The joy of the first time driving, learning how read, high school graduation. The joy and sorrow of the first time leaving home. All these firsts, bring both joy and sorrow mixed together. Motherhood!

Jesse Ezra Leake, my first born, turned 28 years old this year. I truly remember his birth as if it was yesterday. People told me to enjoy him because he will grow so fast! This was more true than I could have imagined. Jesse was a good baby and grew to be a sweet little boy full of joy. He loved to learn and he loved people. His mind continually took in all his surroundings with excitement and interest. 

Jesse was active and had fun running, playing, climbing trees, singing at the top of his lungs, even singing himself to sleep! He loved to learn and was very observant. He enjoyed watching birds and drawing them accurately. He made model airplanes to scale. He loved numbers and statistics and memorized easily. He was very adventurous. I had to learn to let go early as I looked out my window to see Jesse as a young boy, high in a tree. As he got older he just went higher, taking a tape measure with him as he shimmied up trees to measure them 75-80 feet high with the help of his brothers. They would also climb to the tops of little ones to swing from tree to tree like monkeys! Jesse was a born leader, whether it was building forts or making pizza or getting his siblings to do their chores when I wasn't home. I could always count on him. He carried a heavy load as the oldest child. It was such a blessing to know I could depend on him when I left him in charge of his younger sibling. I remember the day we brought him to college. I cried most of the way home. Letting your child go so he can grow is hard. I treasure the memories of when he was a babe and thank God for his life. 

Jesse has grown to be a strong, confident, hard working, happy, responsible, dependable, intelligent and adventurous fine young man with many admirable qualities. I thank God for all He has done in Jesse's life and look forward to all the tomorrows God gives. The memories are many and my heart is full of thanksgiving! My children will always be in my heart and I will never let them go in that sense. But I had to learn, starting with my firstborn, to let him go, to grow into the man of God he was made to be. So much has passed during these 28 years, in his life and in mine. As a mother I have failed too may times to count. I am thankful for a God who never fails. Many times I was not there for Jesse when he needed me. I praise God that He never leaves us or forsakes us. Behold I am with you always. Many times my love was not enough and was full of selfishness. I praise God that His love is perfect and everlasting. Many times I have been sinful, unkind and hurtful. I praise God that He is faithful to forgive. God is holy and just and sent His only begotten son to die for our sins and give us His righteousness. I have learned we don't always have tomorrow. I have learned that just as God has put our baby in our arms when they are newborn, that they never left the arms of God and that God holds them in the palm of His hand. I have learned I have to let my children walk their own walk and grow physically, and spiritually on their own. I have to continually pray and give Jesse to God. I am confident that God never lets him go. I can pray, trusting the all powerful God to take care of my children. It is hard to give them up. When our son Micah got leukemia I really thought God would heal him and He didn't. Giving up Mich 9 years ago today was the hardest thing I have ever done. I miss him so much. God knows what it means to give up your son. For after all, God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whoever believes in Him shall never die but have everlasting life. I am confident of this very thing that He who began a good work in them will continue till the day of Jesus Christ. This year on November 2, 2014 I also gave up my son Josiah to be the husband of a beautiful young lady who loves Jesus. Cindy is precious and we are so excited to be gaining a daughter in law. I will continue to pray and do all that God gives me to do to help my children grow and learn to love, enjoy and glorify God forever. They do not belong to me, they belong to God. They are safe in His care always and He is able and faithful. Truth be told I am still learning to trust God with my children but I know He is the perfect parent and Savior. He is in control!

Jesse Ezra Leake. I am so proud of the man you have become. What a joy you are to me. My heart is still overflowing with love greater than I could imagine. Yet God's love for you is even greater. He is living water. He is the bread of life. The depths of God's love are so deep and never ending. His love will never fail you. He will never g

ive up on you, His love never runs out and He will never let you go. May you always drink of His love and be full of His life everlasting.

I love you. Happy birthday!