Sunday, December 22, 2013

December 17, 2013

December 17, 2013

8 years ago today
It was a day like any other
The sun rises and sets
on this father and mother

The sky is blue
and the rooster crows
                                                        The air is crisp
And no one knows

That our boy,
Micah goes
To his Father above
He knows

To live in joy and peace above
In heaven with the one called Love

We miss him still and still we mourn
He suffered 4 years of cancer in a storm

He was strong
through thin and thick
Our hope deferred
It made us sick

We thought he’d live
To tell his story here.
But God took him home,
Our son so dear.

So through the pain
And sorrow still
We look to Christ
And know He will

Help us today
To persevere
Through pain of losing
Our son so dear

Our God is good
He loves us more
Than anyone
That we adore

He gave our son
The greatest gift of all
Eternal life,
The cost to Him was tall

Our God He knows
Our loss we face
For He gave His Son
To die in our place

God’s plan is so amazing
So big, so wise
He became flesh and God’s wrath
He satisfies

To make a way
For us to live
With God Eternal
His Son He did give

The One who gave
So He could save

So now our
Micah full of joy
No pain and sorrow
For our boy

Rejoices with
The Lord he’s known
Praising Him
Before the throne

We know that Micah
Rejoices with His Lord
All safe and happy
He is restored

God brought him safely
To His arms above
Wrapped secure
In Jesus Love

And Jesus makes
Our hearts to sing
He is our joy
He is our King

We will go on
This day by His grace
Trust and love
As we look in His face

Through trials and pain
In this earthly place
I keep my gaze
On His lovely face

Micah lived for 16 years
With us
He read his Bible
And learned to trust

The One Who made him
And gave him breath
And strengthened him to walk
4 years of cancer to his death

He learned to live
His life Godward
By faith he read the word
His sword

Through storms and pain
With Jesus by his side
He saw His face
And he did abide

Through many troubles
Fears within
He clung to Jesus
His brother, his nearest kin
Was God made flesh who lived and died
And rose again
He conquered death and conquered sin

I stand this day, December 17th
And face
Another day missing Micah

In His grace

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Rain, Rain, Rain!

Rain, Rain, Rain!
Day after day,
A sweet summer rain continues to fall gently upon the earth.
Go outside.
Look up to heaven with outstretched arms and hands.
Feel the rain fall upon your head!
God is Reigning over you!
His love, mercy and grace are falling upon you.
Look up!
Turn your face towards heaven.
Reach up to God!

Receive His blessing for you this day!

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Go and Be a Blessing

I just finished reading Genesis again after more times than I can count. Yet, I can hardly read about Joseph in the Bible (Gen 37-50) without weeping. It is such a beautiful, remarkable story of redemption! God turned a whole family around. Not only did He redeem Joseph but he changed Judah from being the one to sell Joseph into slavery, to pleading for Benjamin’s life and offering himself as a slave in Benjamin’s place. That is an amazing turn around and it gives me hope! So much trouble in one family turned around for good. God used what was meant for evil into good. (Gen. 45:3-5,7-8) God is our Redeemer and He is in the business of redeeming. We are all imperfect people who have imperfect parents, imperfect children, imperfect siblings, friends, co- workers, husbands and wives! In the midst of evil, all of our sorrow and pain and trials, God is living and active. He loves us! He is for us! He is powerful and good and He does good and righteous things!
2 Cor 4:17 and 18 tells us, “For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.”
Just as God transformed evil plans and emotional and physical hardships to redeem a people, Israel, He is doing the same for those who love Him and are called according to His purposes. Do not despair! Keep focused on the Lord and trust in Him. “You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trusts in You.  Trust in the Lord forever, For in Yah, the Lord, is everlasting strength.”  (Isa 26:3,4)
God is working all things together for good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose.(Rom 8:28) “God called Israel to go and be a blessing.”( Gen 12:2) and Jacob(Israel ) blessed people till he died, even the Pharaoh!
“So Jacob blessed Pharaoh, and went out from before Pharaoh.” (Gen 47:10)

God is calling us to do the same in the midst of all our trials and suffering and the evil in this world. Go and be a blessing. 

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Elisabeths 16th Birthday

Even though it has been a couple of months since Elisabeth's 16th birthday, here are a couple of beautiful pictures of my sweet daughter and a picture of her traditional strawberry cake, which I got from her blog. 
 I am so thankful for Elisabeth and her joy and laughter. She is so sweet and thoughtful. On her birthday she often gives her family gifts! This year she made homemade soap and wrapped each one special for each of us. She loves to write letters and cheer people up with encouraging notes. She is a blessing and I am so thankful for her.

I love you Elisabeth!

Saturday, June 1, 2013


Years ago when my daughter Priscilla Joy  was about 5 years old she came up to me and said,” Mommy, you know how some people are really sweet?”
“Yes,” I said.
“Well, I am spicy!”
We got a good laugh out of that but thought about what an accurate description that was for her.
Today is Priscilla’s 18th birthday and she has been spicy ever since! I can not believe how fast time has gone. We have been so blessed with her life. I am so thankful for my spicy daughter Priscilla Joy,  who is filled with the Joy of the Lord which leaks out of her! She is a beautiful fragrance of Christ!

I love you Priscilla!

2 Cor 2:14-17
14 Now thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and through us diffuses the fragrance of His knowledge in every place. 15 For we are to God the fragrance of Christ among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing. 16 To the one we are the aroma of death leading to death, and to the other the aroma of life leading to life. And who is sufficient for these things? 17 For we are not, as so many, peddling the word of God; but as of sincerity, but as from God, we speak in the sight of God in Christ.

Monday, May 13, 2013

The joy of Motherhood!

I am so thankful that the Lord has called me to the ministry of motherhood. It is a great privilege and a joy to train up, disciple, serve and love my children for the glory of God. I am so blessed to be the mother of nine wonderful children. Each one is so very special and such a unique individual miracle of God and blessing to me. I praise the Lord for Jesse, Josiah,Gabriel, Hannah, Priscilla,Elisabeth, Bethany, Lydia and Micah! I love you all am I am glad that God made you and blessed me to be your mother. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. God's works truly are marvelous! My soul knows that very well.

Psalms 139
139:1 God's Perfect Knowledge of Man
For the Chief Musician. A Psalm of David.
O Lord, You have searched me and known me. 2 You know my sitting down and my rising up;You understand my thought afar off. 3 You comprehend my path and my lying down,And are acquainted with all my ways. 4 For there is not a word on my tongue,But behold, O Lord, You know it altogether. 5 You have hedged me behind and before,And laid Your hand upon me. 6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;It is high, I cannot attain it.
7 Where can I go from Your Spirit?Or where can I flee from Your presence? 8 If I ascend into heaven, You are there;If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there. 9 If I take the wings of the morning,And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, 10 Even there Your hand shall lead me,And Your right hand shall hold me. 11 If I say, "Surely the darkness shall fall on me,"Even the night shall be light about me; 12 Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You,But the night shines as the day;The darkness and the light are both alike to You.
13 For You formed my inward parts;You covered me in my mother's womb. 14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made ; Marvelous are Your works,And that my soul knows very well. 15 My frame was not hidden from You,When I was made in secret,And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. 16 Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.And in Your book they all were written,The days fashioned for me,When as yet there were none of them.
17 How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!How great is the sum of them! 18 If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;When I awake, I am still with You.

Mother's Day was such a blessing. I was encouraged by my children and my husband and reminded of God's grace to persevere. I will always be a mother and as my children grow older and leave the home they continue to be home in my heart and in my prayers that they would walk in His truth and treasure Christ above all things. All of my children blessed me in their own special way with phone calls, drawings, cards and gifts that I will treasure. The greatest gifts are my children themselves. A gift and reward from God. Here is a video one of my sons made to bless me this Mother's Day. Thank you Gabriel!

3 John 1:4
I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.

Thursday, January 17, 2013


January 9, 2013
It is amazing how time goes by so fast. It was 7 years ago December 17, 2012 that Micah died. I can hardly believe it. Some days it seems like it was yesterday. I am still missing Micah and I know I always will. Here is a poem I wrote shortly after he died. I had always wanted to rewrite it and edit it but now I just don’t have it in me to do that. So here it, still needing to be tweaked!

Monday, January 2, 2006        
MISSING MICAH,       written by Laura Leake

You know him by his face.
Bright clear blue eyes
Curly soft brown hair, with a spot of grey on his left side
Smiling, always, even when in pain
Making silly faces and joking
I miss his face
I wish I could touch his face,
Kiss his cheek or forehead
Rake my hands through his curly locks, comb his hair gently back.
Talking kindly or being funny
Making some kind of joke
I miss his voice, his laugh and his singing.
Sometimes his singing to the Lord sounded like real “crying out” to God.
His saying ,” Hi, Lydia!” every time he saw her and smiling at her no matter how bad he felt.
His face scrunched up, eyes closed tight when getting a lumbar puncture or bone marrow aspirate, but not complaining.
I miss his hands, gentle, soft, fluent.
They spoke of grace and mercy as they flowed over his guitar strings and moved so eloquently, picking songs and worshipping on his Taylor guitar or his mandolin.
Playing piano, the few songs he knew, like Pachelbel’s Canon in D, so smooth and sweet.
His hands strong and serving, quick to lend a helping hand
Getting the stroller out putting it in the trunk, even after TB irradiation, and chemotherapy and transfusions
Putting Lydia in the car
Lifting bags and back packs
Driving the truck to bring the garbage to the road, shifting gears with a big smile on his face,
often reaching over to steer the car while I drove.
Hands making interesting concoction for dinner, knowing quickly the right combination of spices, doing it even after a long day at the clinic
Hands trimming bushes, working hard
Hands playing cards and monopoly and other games
Hands gently soothing and comforting as he holds Lydia and comforts her and smiles
at her to make her happy
Those hands I held as I prayed for him as he took his last breath
Those hands I massaged and stroked when they hurt and weren’t working properly
Those hands too weak and uncoordinated to hold a pill
I would pick up and wrap his arm and hands around Lydia so he could hold her
Those hands holding his Bible, turning pages, treasuring God’s Word
I miss those hands, never to touch again
I miss his feet.
Walking, walking, walking, more than a marathon after his transplant
Blistered feet from walking so much
Those feet, walking with a purpose to a destination, sometimes known only to him,
Duke Gardens, Duke Chapel, Dick Orcutt’s grandmother’s house,
The Presbyterian Church blocks away from the hospital.
Walking adventures on the roof, unto the parking garage at Baptist Hospital.
Those legs unable to walk or run or play after breaking his leg or toe or getting blisters.
Yet, content and resolved to make the most of whatever the situation
Those legs and that body peddling hard on his mountain bike on all sorts of adventures many times with his camera ready for a great picture of a beautiful broad magnificent landscape or the detailed delicate peddles of a flower
He loved and appreciated God’s wonderful creation
I miss his feet
I miss massaging his feet especially towards the last month of his life when they would swell from fluid built up in his body
The messaging helped reduce the edema, but I couldn’t stop holding and rubbing those feet even when they weren’t swollen anymore
Like Jesus washing the disciples feet
I loved his feet. I miss the feel of those worn feet that used to run and play and climb trees.
That used to jump on trampolines, and the ground, and beds,
Jumping up and down, jumping up and down jumping up and down
Those feet that almost always were sticking out of his sheets when he slept
Those feet propped up on the ottoman or draped over the arm of the love seat as he rested
I miss those feet
I miss Micah,
His feet
His legs
His arms
His hands
His face
His hair
His smell
His eyes
His mind
His heart, full of love for God and people
Full of laughter, joy, and sorrow, suffering, worshipping
His mouth confessing his love for our Lord Jesus Christ through music and words
I miss Micah
He’ll always remain in my heart
And one day
I will see him again
But now
I just miss him
All of him
I miss his face, funny, laughing, joking, making faces,
Yet sometimes so serious
Worshipping God, looking up to Jesus
Down on his knees, crying out to Jesus for His mercy and healing and help
Emotional as he talks of how good God is and how thankful he is for Lydia who he said is always happy and brings joy wherever she goes.
Emotional, tears as he speaks of his love for us in his last days
And for his love for God and confession that God is so good, He has been so good to him and is good and so close to him even now in his suffering
Quick to stand up for someone younger, to defend the weak
A peacemaker- who now sees God
Smiling in admiration at the determination of the younger transplant children
Hands and heart pouring forth words in pink pen on a spiral notebook paper, full of love for God and appreciation and love for people
Joy in the midst of suffering
The joy of the Lord is my strength
Hands typing away on his xanga website, recounting funny stories and situations,
making jokes about his suffering, writing songs, original and others that touched his heart,
Stories deeper than what appears on the outside
Showing a heart full of love and compassion, kindness, joy, and desire to be in heaven with the Lord
Now Micah is with the Lord
He is no longer in pain or suffering,
He is full of joy in the presence of our Lord,
Part of my heart is with him
I miss Micah
I always will
                        Micah’s Mom